A Guide to Being a Pallbearer – Advice from Quantock Funeral Directors

Being asked to serve as a pallbearer is a final act of respect, a significant role in saying goodbye to a loved one. While it is an honour, it’s natural to feel nervous about what is expected of you. You may worry about your strength, making a mistake, or simply not knowing what to do. At Quantock Funeral Directors, we understand these concerns and are here to guide you through the process, ensuring you feel confident and supported in this meaningful duty.

How Much Does a Coffin Weigh?

A coffin’s weight depends on both the person inside and the material of the coffin itself. A standard coffin weighs around 20kg when empty, but for larger individuals, it can reach up to 125kg. However, as a pallbearer, you will not be lifting this weight alone.

What to Expect as a Pallbearer

If you have been asked to take on this role, here’s what you should know:

You Will Be Given Clear Instructions

No one expects you to instinctively know how to be a pallbearer. Rob or Dawn, along with the rest of our team, will guide you through every step. We will explain the process in practical terms, showing you how to lift safely, where to stand, and how to walk in unison. If you have any concerns, feel free to ask questions—our role is to support you.

You Won’t Be Alone

Carrying a coffin is always a shared responsibility. Depending on its size, there will typically be between four and six pallbearers. You do not need to be exceptionally strong or tall, and there are no restrictions on gender or age. A general rule is that each pallbearer supports around 25kg, ensuring the weight is evenly distributed.

You Will Be Positioned Correctly

Our funeral directors will arrange the bearers so that everyone is evenly spaced and facing each other. Initially, the coffin is carried at waist height. When the time comes to lift it to your shoulder, you will do so in unison under the director’s guidance.

You Will Receive Instructions on How to Walk

Walking with a coffin requires steady and coordinated movement. The funeral director will call out instructions, beginning with the left foot. While perfect synchronisation is not essential, keeping an eye on the person in front of you helps maintain a smooth flow.

You Will Be Guided on Lowering the Coffin

When it is time to lower the coffin, you will hear the instruction "into hands." This means moving the coffin from your shoulders to your hands before carefully positioning it. If the service involves a burial, you will then be shown how to lower the coffin into the ground using webbing straps, lowering it gently, hand over hand.

If You Feel Unsure, You Can Decline

While being a pallbearer is an honour, it is not an obligation. If you are concerned about your ability to carry the weight but still wish to participate, speak with the funeral director. You may be able to walk alongside the coffin with it placed on a wheel bier, resting a hand on it as a symbolic gesture without carrying the weight.

At Quantock Funeral Directors, we are here to provide reassurance and guidance every step of the way. Whether you choose to serve as a pallbearer or find another way to pay tribute, your role in saying goodbye to a loved one is deeply valued.